Ann Malcolm Brooks 1916 2004
Princess of the Queen
Respecting and protecting your parents care wishes
Respecting and protecting your parents care wishes

I realize that I need to put a few things out in the open because it made Ann's last Days a living hell


For almost 5 years few if any of Ann’s family or friends came to see her. I can count them on 2 hands. "She was well loved by all" except she died alone, was cremated alone without a memorial service cause no one would have attended. Makes me wonder what "love" was being sworn. She was wounded by your abandonment grieviously. This is not my judgment, I just thought you should know how you all repaid her for her loyalty to you. (Just a small point, at the very end I told her not about the pain and hurt of being her unwanted son, I reminded her of the things about her and our interaction that I treasured.)

When there was any interaction it was inappropriate and hostile. People couldn’t be bothered to come and see her or call us to inquire; instead they would request an investigation into possible elder abuse from the California adult protective services.

No one but my wife and I were willing to make sure she was cared for but it must have made you all feel like you were interested or involved to question our efforts. Well let me tell you, your callous prejudgment and aggressive approach towards us hurt only one person, the one you supposedly were trying to help.

There is something very wrong with the way you all express your concern and interest? Why couldnt you just inquire or see for yourselves? But instead by repeatedly involving APS you made sure that at the time it mattered that Ann's wishes were not followed because the STATE interceded! Did any of you know me at all or well enough to know that I could or would provide for Anns time of transition. I do know that virtually everyone profited from her aquaintance. You all also thanked me to my face for being there for my mother. Then you all stopped calling. But you did make some calls, didnt you? 

You made sure that we had to fight tooth and nail a battle that was unnecessary and to allow Ann's final directives to be heeded. Those directives which Ann explicitly authorized. The ones that asked her children to honor them. The ones Bill couldnt be bothered with because they didnt have any payoff. The ones my tireless, compassionate wife and  I struggled to honor against your interference and "concern".

Even now thinking about your self-righteous, ignorant and mean spirited attacks on us and their effect on Ann just about makes me ill. And you all probably think you did something helpful or reasonable, since you all collaborated and were certain that I couldn’t have Ann's interests at heart.

So how did you all determine that this was a more appropriate approach than to simply call us? Is this the way that families interact? Was this a caring way to remain involved with Ann? Or did you just want to hurt me for some reason? Or did you have something to hide.

You all took counsel from someone who never came to see her, not once. Bill Brooks I put this on you. You never came to see her, you always intended to benefit from her death just as you did in life, and you are cruel, unfeeling and unimaginatrive to the point of being ignorant. If you do know better then you are beneath contempt. 

I don’t really blame the others that allowed you to poison the well without question and lend legitimacy to your stupid plan although I had never done any of them any harm. I am not sure I even blame you, because you have always made up your own reality and that is punishment enough. I have watched you have to bury the truth from yourself. It makes me shudder and count my blessings. Just for the record, you are all supposed to be intelligent enough to see for yourself what is occuring. Either you arent or it wasnt important enough to do. What a pathetic show of "loving Ann".

You all missed out. Bill, you missed a chance to know you mother before she left. You missed a chance to have a brother, and a friend. The rest of you missed a chance to know the truth and make a real change in the comfort and peace of someone you claimed to care for. Instead you made it almost impossible to follow Ann's wishes and made our life very painful. Thank you all.

Bill Malcolm, I do appreciate your visit and words of support at that time. Lynn Keady, thank you as well for coming to see your Aunt Ann. Both visits were timely and cherished, both by Ann and us

I have some special thought for the unhelpful and industry influenced people at California Adult Protective Services, the interference and outright theft by "investment advisor" Nina and the concerned assistance of her "beloved" former Attorney and "friend" Sonny Kamm....but

I am too pissed to continue at the moment…

Hope you all enjoy the fruits of someone elses labors and the theft of a legacy in the meanwhile


more to come i am not done by a long shot

Loved one receiving care?